Some people feel that a great name has to be funny. Others think it has to be dirty or sexual. Me? I just think it helps to have either a heck of a lot of vowels or a heck of a lot of consonants. Or in Biakabutuka's case, both.
Born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Tshimanga Biakabutuka (pronounced Tuh-MONG-ah Bee-OCK-ah-buh-too-kuh) moved with his parents at a young age to Canada. He didn't start playing football until high school, but very quickly he became known as "Touchdown Tim," a moniker that led him to start at the University of Michigan. Once there he had an epic 313 yard performace against Ohio State, which still stands second all time for single game yardage by a Michigan back.
Forgoing college after his junior season, the one year old Carolina Panthers drafted him 8th overall, hoping to make him their running back of the future. However a length holdout and injuries derailed his first year in the league. 1999 was his best year, 2000 was okay, but in 2001 Biakabutuka's career was ended when he tore every single ligament in his right foot while caught in a pile in a game (who ever knew that was possible?).
Once retired, Biakabutuka opened a chain of jewerly stores in North Carolina known as Beya Jewelry, which sells both Christian and Designer Jewelry. Pretty cool that he's doing something good with his life, but I also can't help but think that the stuff would sell better if he had named it Biakabutukua's Beads or something. But that's just me.
Anyways, Touchdown Tim, this is your nomination for the Great Sports Name Hall of Fame. Here's to hoping the voters like long streams of letters half as much as I do.
To see the best sports names of all time, visit the Truly Great Names page.
To see some good sports names that were voted out, visit the Good Names page.
To see the current voting ballot, visit the Ballot page.