In my dream world, Razor Shines is fired from the Mets and goes on to coach his longtime minor league affiliate, the Indianapolis Indians. Given Kutz is traded to the Pirates in one of the Pirates famous firesales, and eventually works his way up to AAA to play for coach Shines. Given's first start is a perfect game... but he retires immediately thereafter, bringing Razor with him. The two finally realize what they were born to do, and they open up a Razor Shines Given Kutz barber shop in downtown Indy. Obviously it becomes a huge success,
Given Kutz...I mean even I almost don't believe the name is real. The images it brings up. The proximity to which his last name looks like that of GSNHOF favorite Rusty Kuntz. And the fact that you can pun on this name in so many ways! I mean, I used to have a friend named Joe with the middle name Kin and so we always asked if he was joekin. Get it? heh heh...heh (thank you thank you, you've been a great audience). But Given Kutz really takes the cake (cuts the cake?).
Signed by Dodgers scout Henry Jones in 2007, Kutz, who previously gave strikeouts as the University of Portland, played some Pioneer League Ball in 2007. He spent 2008 split between two A ball locations with reasonable success, going 5-7 with a 1.25 whip, 4.14 era and a 4:1 K:BB rate in 126 innings. Looks like he was given (opposing batters) fits(z)!
But then...nothing. In December of 2008 Kutz was placed on the Dodgers restricted list. Wiki Answers tells me that this means he could be hurt or could not be hurt, so I'm confused, but Kutz isn't playing. So what's going on here? Dodgers fans (NightOwl) or anyone else know what this all means? Why is he being given the shaft by the Dodgers?
I wonder if Given Kutz will be successful when he finally does play again. The Baseball Cube rates his control a Mad Dog esque 91, and Fangraphs shows that his BABIP and LOB have been unlucky while his FIP has been pretty good. I'm sure that someday Given Kutz will be a given another chance to prove his worth. Until then I'm just glad that he was given this great name by his parents, so that I could give(n) the news of it to all of you.
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